Let's talk music.

Now, I'm a pretty simple guy, and I like my rock and roll to reflect that. I don't always want to listen to some uptight vocalist tell me his opinions on politics or the meaning of life and I don't always want to boogie down on the dance floor or even skank around in a circle with some elitist prick at a ska show. Sometimes I just want to throw my fist in the air and sing along to a catchy but altogether meaningless chorus.

Sometimes I want to listen to Bang Camaro.

Made (sort of) famous with their hit "Push Push (Lady Lightning)" in Guitar Hero 2, they further publicized themselves with Rock Band's "Pleasure, Pleasure" and "Rock Rebellion." It was my love of "Push Push" that lead to me... acquiring... their CD, aptly titled "Bang Camaro." It gets even better when you discover that my favorite Bang Camaro song off the CD "Bang Camaro" is indeed entitled "Bang Camaro."

The band refers to themselves as "anthem rock" and while I'm not entirely certain what that means I use it when people ask about their genre because, frankly, I'm not sure what else to say. Their musical direction looks back at 80's metal. Don't lie, you love that shit. We all do. But they decided that they could make it better. So they took what everyone likes about 80's metal - the catchy hooks and crazy guitar solos - and made that their entire philosophy. This is what makes them the ideal band for plastic instrument-playing, couch potato rockers.

Most of their songs are dead simple. The songs "Bang Camaro" and "Nightlife Commando" feature few words beyond what's right there in the title, and even their most lyrically complex tracks are easy enough that you'll be singing along after just one or two plays. To achieve a truly epic sound, Bang Camaro utilizes not one but two vocalists. And by "two" I mean "fourteen." No, I'm not joking. If you like guitar solos, well, these guys are for you. Featuring no less than three guitarists, most Bang Camaro songs are largely back-to-back solos separated by choruses written only to sound awesome. I've saved perhaps my favorite part of the band for last: the bass. The bass section can be heard clearly in almost every song, and it pounds like the fist of God. The band takes pause several times in "Rock Rebellion" to let the bass take front and rock you with it's tight beat, and "Push Push" features an 18-second bass solo that will make you wonder why other bands aren't doing this.

Where Bang Camaro truly shines, however, is live. I don't mean to say that they're one of those bands that "sounds better live," because that's far from true. They aren't big enough yet to play venues with top-notch sound equipment, but that's really what makes them so great. When the location is a little bar, it affords the audience the luxury of standing a distance from the band that one would measure in inches. The bassist hit my arm while playing a particularly energetic riff. Having 19 people on stage means that it's packed more densely than the crowd, and their vocal choir rocking out as hard as the fans makes you feel like part of the band. It was a religious experience.

So if you want a band that will speak to your soul with the depth of a poet, don't check out Bang Camaro. If you want a band that will let you really move your feet and get down on the dance floor, don't check out Bang Camaro. But if you want a band that will unapologetically rock you so hard that you won't be able to hear yourself whisper after the show, boy have I found the group for you.